The middle years

№ 01

“Of all the roles you've played — parent, partner, friend, worker, carer, leader — which one feels most like *you*?”

№ 02

“What was the work that filled most of your forties?”

№ 03

“If you raised children, what did the school-age years feel like, in your own body?”

№ 04

“Tell me about a friendship in midlife that became one of the most important of your life.”

№ 05

“Did you make a big career change, large or small, in your thirties or forties?”

№ 06

“What did your social calendar look like in the busiest years?”

№ 07

“Tell me about a midlife row — with a partner, sibling, friend, parent — that mattered.”

№ 08

“Was there a year in midlife when you ran on too little sleep?”

№ 09

“If you became a parent, what kind of parent did you turn out to be — at school gates, at the kitchen table, on a hard day?”

№ 10

“Was there a midlife illness — yours, or someone close to you — that changed your sense of time?”

№ 11

“Tell me about a colleague or boss in midlife who made you better at what you did.”

№ 12

“What kind of holidays did you take in the middle years?”

№ 13

“Did your relationship with your own parents change in midlife — through their ageing, illness, or death?”

№ 14

“Was there a year your marriage or longest partnership nearly didn't make it?”

№ 15

“What is the thing you most often regret about the busiest years of your life?”

№ 16

“What did you come to be known for, in those years — at work, at home, among friends?”

№ 17

“Tell me about a midlife moment of unexpected kindness from a stranger or near-stranger.”

№ 18

“Was there a project, hobby, or quiet practice you began in midlife that's stayed with you?”

№ 19

“What did midlife teach you about ambition?”

№ 20

“Tell me about a midlife loss — not necessarily a death — that took you longer than you expected to recover from.”

№ 21

“What were your evenings like, on the average weeknight, in your mid-forties?”

№ 22

“Tell me about a time in midlife when you were the steady one in a crisis.”

№ 23

“Was there a time when you felt fully in your stride — work, health, family, friendships all running well?”

№ 24

“What did money mean to you in midlife — security, freedom, worry, indifference?”

№ 25

“Tell me about a midlife friendship that ended — through drift, fight, or simply life moving you apart.”

№ 26

“Was there a midlife evening when you sat alone, after the house had gone quiet, and felt something shift?”

№ 27

“What did your body do in midlife that you weren't ready for?”

№ 28

“Tell me about something you let go of in midlife — a habit, a hope, a friendship, a story about yourself.”

№ 29

“Looking back, what kind of mid-life crisis (small or large, named or unnamed) did you actually have?”

№ 30

“If you could send a single sentence back to yourself at the busiest point of your life, what would it say?”